safe in His hands.

As I was reading through a new blog tonight, I was blessed to "meet" a miracle. I could try and explain the compassion my heart is swelling with, but perhaps you should discover this little life yourself. read about this beauty from ashes here.

Jesus, you are so precious. Your grace abounding, endless. No one can begin to fathom the depths of your love, your glory and your grace. You see life in the midst of tradegy. Beauty in the midst of pain. Only you can bring peace to a storm with a simple word and fill us with joy when there is none to be found. Praise you Lord for your faithfulness.

Lord, you know better than I.

identity.

now that my soldier is home and deployment is officially over,

it doesn't make much sense to continue writing "deployment thoughts"...

so, my creative task for the day is to decide on a new blog name. Any suggestions?

"Fall Out!"

January 1, 2009 : 0300 hours.
Heroes Welcome Home Ceremony.

**** Company **** Aviation Regiment returned home early New Year's morning after a 12 month deployment; 3 months in moblization, 9 months in country. Read about it here.

Josh's homecoming was one of the most exciting, exhausting, wonderful, emotional days of my life! His flight came in at 3:00 am to the National Guard Base to a freezing 15 degrees below morning! Poor man was frozen stepping off the plane and walking across the flight line. I was so anxious to see him, to know that he was home, really home, no more goodbyes HOME, that I couldn't sleep more than an hour the entire night before. He called me from the demobilization base and from the airport....but it still seemed like a call from across the world even when I knew he was only 5 or 6 hours away. Theres something about separate time zones now...they seem to be more like separate planets. But finally we were counting the same hours. Waking up at the same time and standing in the same room! The Heroes Welcome Home Ceremony only lasted about 10 minutes. Long enough to stand in formation and hear the blessed words, "FALL OUT!" It was freezing, all the families overjoyed but half awake... needless to say, everyone was more than willing to claim their soldier and finally take them home. All day I kept staring at him, hugging him, kissing him, and asking him if he was home to stay. (In fact, its been 6 weeks and I STILL do that!)

I love my Soldier.

AT LAST...

At last, my love has come along,

My lonely days are over,

And life is like a song,

Ohhh at last

The stars above are blue

My heart was wrapped up in clover,

The night I looked at you

I found a dream that I could speak to,

A dream that I, can call my own,

I found a thrill, to press my cheek to

A thrill that I, have never known,

Ohhh you smile, you smile

And then the spell was cast

And here we are in heaven, for you are mine, at last!

After 349 days, my soldier is finally in my arms. in the same room. in the same country. on the same CONTINENT. and I can call HIM.

It seems surreal at times...to see him and know he's here, and realize that he is home for good. I still see soldiers and tear up, or hear a song that reminds me of a lonely day..it keeps me praying for all those loved ones whose soldiers are still across seas being heroes with every webcam session and 5 minute phone call.

* * * *

I saw him for the first time since his leave in June on December **th when his unit stopped at the *** International Airport on their way to demobilization. For a bliss hour and a half, I was able to stare into those gorgeous eyes and actually hold his hand! That morning was a little crazy...I couldn't sleep a wink the night before, and at 2 am they changed the arrival time of his flight to 6 am! Running on about 2 hours of sleep I got to the airport with a belly full of butterflies and waited for 3 hours until he finally arrived (at the original time...) There were so many emotions that day; so many families- army wives, children, newborn babies who had yet to meet their mommy or daddy. It is strange, yet entirely understood, to stand in a room full of strangers and feel completely connected and unified through empathy. It was so wonderful to see my soldier and hold him and tell him that I loved him face to face. I left knowing that it would be the last goodbye before I would welcome him home for good!

Finally. all mine.

so this is love...

I have no idea what he was in the middle of saying, but I was adoring him. : )

Home Sweet Home...

Its finally over, deployment is finished. completed. accomplished. (applause anyone?) My soldier has been home for almost 6 weeks now, but I simply couldn't bring myself to post anything until ALL the deployments were over. It didn't seem joyous to write about my soldier's homecoming until my best friend had her own day and held her soldier in her arms too... so my lovely Kate, tonight your soldier is home in your arms, and all is well. No more sleepless nights, no more terrorizing dreams, or lonely days and heavy hearts. Our soldiers are home, safe and sound. We are finished! You are such a treasure to me, I am so blessed to have had your strength this year and to have grown in the Lord together. Praise Jesus our soldiers are home sweet home. HOOAH!






... so, now I will soon post MY Welcome Home Heroes Ceremony!...

Fireproof

1 Corithians 13 :4-7

4 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. 6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

Last week I went to see the movie Fireproof, staring Kirk Cameron. The movie illustrated the concept of pure, unconditional love. A love that is strong enough to endure the flames... flames of infidelity, addiction, pride, bitterness, resentment, distrust, brokenness, hurt... A couple's broken marriage portraying the picture of our rejection to Christ. A husband's pride and cheap addiction, a wife's deceit and bitterness, all comparable to the idolatry and infidelity we commit daily against Christ. Every shift in priority, every shade of gray, every step closer to the line...oh how Christ must ache with agony as his Father looks down and sees his Son, his Gift rejected again and again and again. Yet each time I surrender with pitiful apologies and broken repentance, he brings me to complete restoration. Who am I that he should keep no record of wrong, that he should never lose faith in me, endure all my horrid transgressions? And yet he loves me the same. And I think, could I do that? Could I love someone who betrayed me? Forgive someone who traded me in? Trust someone who continuously lied? Bless and rejoice over someone who rejection who I am? My flesh screams no, but my Spirit withstands the flames. With a love like Christ, pure undefiled, agape love... a love to endure every circumstance and keep no record of being wronged...my flesh is weak, but my Spirit is strong.

Beautifully Broken Reflection

Beautiful

I was so unique

Now I feel skin deep

I count on the make-up to cover it all

Crying myself to sleep cause I cannot keep their attention

I thought I could be strong

But it's killing me

Does someone hear my cry?

I'm dying for new life

[Chorus]

I want to be beautiful

Make you stand in awe

Look inside my heart,and be amazed

I want to hear you say

Who I am is quite enough

Just want to be worthy of love

And beautiful

Sometimes I wish I was someone other than me

Fighting to make the mirror happy

Trying to find whatever is missing

Won't you help me back to glory

[Chorus]

You make me beautiful

You make me stand in awe

You step inside my heart, and I am amazed

I love to hear You say

Who I am is quite enough

You make me worthy of love and beautiful

-Bethany Dillon

Do you ever listen to a song and feel like your thoughts were just displayed for all to hear? With every word your heart feels a little more heavy, yet more relieved? You realize you aren't the only one....your brokenness and insecurity isn't so unique? And the best part is the ending, the breath to lift your sunken spirit, the hope flickering in your defeat. Theres relief in being broken, raw and unguarded, and yet theres tormoil. My heart constantly in conflict between feelings of doubt and insecurity, acceptance and perfect love. This causes me to check my own heart, I feel inadequate and scrutinized only when I am looking at a reflection, whether in the faces or the words of others or in the image of myself. It is only when I am looking into the heart of Jesus, eyes focused on the reflection of his words of love and truth can I feel enough. complete. perfect. accepted. truly loved. truly truly perfectly faithfully loved. So what does that say about me? All too often I am looking into the wrong reflection... I will never be enough, never be perfect, never feel adequate- unless- unless I look to Christ as enough, to Christ's perfection.