Saturday, December 6, 2008


1 Corithians 13 :4-7
4 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. 6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

Last week I went to see the movie Fireproof, staring Kirk Cameron. The movie illustrated the concept of pure, unconditional love. A love that is strong enough to endure the flames... flames of infidelity, addiction, pride, bitterness, resentment, distrust, brokenness, hurt... A couple's broken marriage portraying the picture of our rejection to Christ. A husband's pride and cheap addiction, a wife's deceit and bitterness, all comparable to the idolatry and infidelity we commit daily against Christ. Every shift in priority, every shade of gray, every step closer to the line...oh how Christ must ache with agony as his Father looks down and sees his Son, his Gift rejected again and again and again. Yet each time I surrender with pitiful apologies and broken repentance, he brings me to complete restoration. Who am I that he should keep no record of wrong, that he should never lose faith in me, endure all my horrid transgressions? And yet he loves me the same. And I think, could I do that? Could I love someone who betrayed me? Forgive someone who traded me in? Trust someone who continuously lied? Bless and rejoice over someone who rejection who I am? My flesh screams no, but my Spirit withstands the flames. With a love like Christ, pure undefiled, agape love... a love to endure every circumstance and keep no record of being flesh is weak, but my Spirit is strong.

Friday, December 5, 2008

Beautifully Broken Reflection

I was so unique
Now I feel skin deep
I count on the make-up to cover it all
Crying myself to sleep cause I cannot keep their attention
I thought I could be strong
But it's killing me
Does someone hear my cry?
I'm dying for new life
I want to be beautiful
Make you stand in awe
Look inside my heart,and be amazed
I want to hear you say
Who I am is quite enough
Just want to be worthy of love
And beautiful
Sometimes I wish I was someone other than me
Fighting to make the mirror happy
Trying to find whatever is missing
Won't you help me back to glory
You make me beautiful
You make me stand in awe
You step inside my heart, and I am amazed
I love to hear You say
Who I am is quite enough
You make me worthy of love and beautiful
-Bethany Dillon
Do you ever listen to a song and feel like your thoughts were just displayed for all to hear? With every word your heart feels a little more heavy, yet more relieved? You realize you aren't the only one....your brokenness and insecurity isn't so unique? And the best part is the ending, the breath to lift your sunken spirit, the hope flickering in your defeat. Theres relief in being broken, raw and unguarded, and yet theres tormoil. My heart constantly in conflict between feelings of doubt and insecurity, acceptance and perfect love. This causes me to check my own heart, I feel inadequate and scrutinized only when I am looking at a reflection, whether in the faces or the words of others or in the image of myself. It is only when I am looking into the heart of Jesus, eyes focused on the reflection of his words of love and truth can I feel enough. complete. perfect. accepted. truly loved. truly truly perfectly faithfully loved. So what does that say about me? All too often I am looking into the wrong reflection... I will never be enough, never be perfect, never feel adequate- unless- unless I look to Christ as enough, to Christ's perfection.
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