It seems I go back and forth between raw, honest postings of the ups and downs in life and the run of the mill- this is what I've been up to nonsense. The latter is usually easier to share.
But that is not what I am going to write today.
I'll be honest.
I think I've been avoiding you (the blogging world), because I don't want to be submersed in the reality that many of you are still enduring deployments, lonely nights, broken down cars, single parenting and the rest of our endless bulleted list when your soldier is away.
Something in me seemed to crack a few months back, when my best friend sent her beloved Marine off to war like the rest of us. It's her first deployment.
Without making this sound like "it's all about me"... it has been like reliving my own.
Deployment #2 is closing in.
But is it really possible to live through it again?
I look back and remember, and I realize that I was given grace to endure it.
That I was never alone.
I don't feel strong and independant. or carefree or go with the flow.
Somehow I am still reeling from the roller coaster ride 2 years ago.
Drill weekends still bring occasional tears. a drill WEEKEND.