Sunday, February 12, 2012

WE: not me vs. you.

"Hatred stirs up quarrels, but love overs all offenses."
Proverbs 10:12

There has been a lot of smoke around the milspouse blogging world as of late.
Most of you know what I am talking about.

I had to wait a couple days before writing this post, because I knew in my heart of hearts- that my ugly flesh would come roaring out if I did not allow the Spirit flood in.

I am addressing it, not to fuel the fire.
Not to defend my husband or my role as an Army Guard Wife.
Not to confront or put someone in there place.
And certainly not to spread gossip.

But I do think it needs to be addressed.
Because this kind of bickering and backlash tears a body down.

And aren't we all one body?
Don't we all serve for one common goal?
Didn't we all recite the same pledge and creed?

It is no secret, that in the military world each branch is distinct.

And we all know the jokes. the poking at each other.
 "marine jarheads",
  "ain't ready for marines yet army",
 "sailors who don't swim"
"air conditioned airforce"....

I would be lying if I said they've never been spoken in my household.
You'd be lying if you did, because we all say them.
And we all laugh.

But at the end of the day, whether I'm talking to my best friend whose husband is a deployed Marine,
or my co-worker whose husband and son are in the Air Force,

We are all in this TOGETHER.

We may not walk the same steps, but we walk the same path.

Its true, that I cannot relate to PCSing or moving across country.
But I do know the struggle of deployment without knowing another milspouse nearby to confide in.

I don't have to worry about My Soldier deploying every other year.
I worry deployment every two years. because our guard unit is the most deployed unit in our state.

The longest stretch (aside from deployment) that I've gone without My Soldier is a 3-4 month school.
But we've never known a one weekend a month, two weeks a year schedule. ever.

in fact we've been training for this deployment since four months after last deployment,
 and we already have alerts for the next deployment before this one even starts.

I don't call it a BX, I call it a PX. even though the only one in a 50 mile radius is technically a BX.
I don't understand the Marine ranking system.
 (my best friend and I try and figure out what means what in "our" branch....its really funny actually.)

The list could go on and on and on...
Because we are different.
But we are also the same.

When we start walking towards that place where we compare and try to exalt ourselves against our brothers and sisters...thats a dangerous place to be in.

As you can imagine, military spouses are STRONG.
We have to be.

We learn to brave a smile when our love in uniform kisses us for the last time in X months and walks away leaving us standing alone...
We take on dual parenting.
We learn to mow the lawn or shovel the driveway.
We take over finances.
We sleep in a big empty bed.
We wait all day for 5 minutes of delayed fragmented phone calls.

We study for promotions and boards.
We memorize ranks.
We learn acronyms.
We encourage and support our uniform.

When did we become me vs. you?
When did details break down a community of support and acceptance?
When did difference become distance, and camaraderie become competition?

I won't deny my initial reaction to this spiral of controversy.
I was hurt. Offended. Outraged.
As I should have.

But what does quarreling accomplish?

My sister said it best here, that every uniform, regardless of branch, regardless of rank,
stands shoulder to shoulder to defend our country and uphold their oath.

Shouldn't we as milspouse's follow their lead?


L said...

Very nicely put. Regardless of branch, or status (active duty or not) we are all working for the same goal, just going about it differently.

Whitney @ Everything Happens For a Reason said...

I know about the incident you are referring to, and I even addressed it as well. Yours is very well it and eloquently written.

My hubby is in the National Guard. He works full-time with the Guard, so wears hs uniform everyday and doesn't get paid for drill because of his position. You are so right about it not necessarily being "one weekend a month, two weeks a year." Majority of the time, it s 3-4 days. Not two. My hubby was gone a month st ear, nt two weeks.

Throughout all this babbling, I totally agree with you... We are all in this together, and the soldiers are fighting for the same reasons. We all need to be supportive.

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