Somewhere between shock, panic and ticked...

I didn't sleep much last night, so forgive the jumbled speak.

We got some news yesterday, I knew it was coming.
But I was braced for X information and instead I was blindsided by ABC details instead.

There I was standing in the Christmas Tree Shoppe with my mama when I got the call from My Soldier. He had been in briefings all day...
And then the roof collapsed on my head.
And I feel like someone punched me in the solarplexus somewhere around 2pm and I have yet to catch my breath.  I'm just not ready to say goodbye again. I wasn't prepared for my turn so soon...I can't share the details of course, OPSEC. 

Could I ask my blogging family for prayers? I need some today.

 
  "When our hearts do not feel that God is still in control, we must consciously dwell on the truth of the Scriptures with our minds. Our thoughts can either drain our energy and cripple us, or be a source of strength when we meditate on God's Word."


 

Wordless Wednesday

 

 Courtesy of the lovely Dana B.http://newlywedsdiaries.blogspot.com/   

That feeling when you sign your 30 page mortgage agreement...

Yesterday I officially joined the mid-20"s club.
And of course, My Soldier was MIA.
Drill weekends and TDY usually fall around holidays and birthdays.
Of the 4 years we've been together, we've shared just 1 birthday celebration each.
That's just how it works right?

I did get a present from the Army though.
A text message from my hubby saying he has 1 day to decide to re-up.
24 hours to plan the next __# years...

His service date is in June, so we thought we had several more months.
On one hand, I can not imagine a life without the military.
On the other... "normal" life, with a hubby at home. always. hmm....

But the gut-kicker was this: re-up and get a nice little bonus.
OR get out next June and he won't go on the upcoming deployment...I think the thought of getting out gave me the butterflies more than re-enlisting,
but all I got from the conversation was:

He could stay home next year. We finally got to talk about it late last night and have decided to re-up.
The Lord has yet to call us somewhere else. And we both have peace about the decision.

But you know that feeling when you sign your 30 page mortgage agreement...it still kinda feels like that.

Because no matter how you spin it- we signed over the next ___# years of our lives.

   

The Truth.

I've been thinking about what to write for months weeks... For one who is never at a loss for words- I was surprised at how difficult it was to find the words to fill an empty page after being gone so long.

It seems I go back and forth between raw, honest postings of the ups and downs in life and the run of the mill- this is what I've been up to nonsense.  The latter is usually easier to share.

But that is not what I am going to write today.
I'll be honest.

I think I've been avoiding you (the blogging world), because I don't want to be submersed in the reality that many of you are still enduring deployments, lonely nights, broken down cars, single parenting and the rest of our endless bulleted list when your soldier is away. I've tried to stay clear of reading stories that make me tear up and cling with a death grip to my soldier who I'm so blessed to have sleep beside me every night.Kinda pathetic and selfish huh?

Something in me seemed to crack a few months back, when my best friend sent her beloved Marine off to war like the rest of us. It's her first deployment.
Without making this sound like "it's all about me"... it has been like reliving my own.  And that means I am constantly aware of the monsterous typhoon cloud looming overhead.
Deployment #2 is closing in. I know this is life. This is my duty. I love being a soldier's wife.
But is it really possible to live through it again? I feel like I used to be the most independant person I knew. I hated every single moment of deployment. But I lived. I breathed. I even admit- I had some fun adventures!
I look back and remember, and I realize that I was given grace to endure it.
That I was never alone.  But I don't feel like that person anymore.
I don't feel strong and independant. or carefree or go with the flow.I feel clingy and weak and co-dependant. And must have a plan D incase A,B and C don't pan out.I feel smaller and a little less confidant that I can do it again. I don't feel like I am qualified to fill this role anymore.
Somehow I am still reeling from the roller coaster ride 2 years ago.2 years. and I still have the nightmares.
Drill weekends still bring occasional tears. a drill WEEKEND. Didn't I used to laugh at 3 months? Like it was a breeze to endure after 13? Where did she go?The one held it together, smiled bravely and said everything was fine-just so he'd make it through his day with ease? I think she's still in there somewhere... but how do I find her? 

Hello, My name is Mrs.Griffin and I am a horribly inconsistant blogger.

I feel like its a bit redundant to once again for the bagillionth time announcemy return to the blogging world....it seems I am making a trend of such titles. To catch you up in super-duper warp speeds: My puppy is "the exception" to every rule known to dog owners and I have had the little miss at the vets SEVEN times this month for everything from her spay surgery going horribly wrong, to a hot spot, to a sprained leg. Poor baby. So long budget .  I quit my 50+ hour a week finance job and started my own business. YIKES!
(If this was the only thing on my list- you'd know why I have been a stranger around here...)I am loving the life of setting my own hours and being my own boss, but that comes with lengthy days getting it kickstarted and going strong. My best friend in CO is PCS-ing to another time-zone.
No this doesn't really affect me...except yes it does because it takes two to pack a box and plan a move. even if I'm 22 states away. Last week my oldest friend in the world said goodbye to her Marine for 12 months.
She is such a beautiful and strong wife and mother. I respect her so much.It was much more difficult to walk with her through this journey than I expected.I wasn't prepared for the thousand emotions that slammed into my chest as I pulled onto the base for his sendoff, they really are all the same... And wouldn't you know it, the month I am done work and starting the business at home, My Soldier has AT and is working all hours of the day and night. I haven't seen him in months it seems...  But this is life right? Learning to balance the chaos and madness gracefully? I won't promise to be around here more often, but I hope to say hello again soon.   

My Next Adventure

I am so very excited to share with all of you what has been consuming my free time as of late....

I am now an official Arbonne International Consultant!

Having just signed up last week, my kitchen at the present time looks like an Arbonne Christmas exploded! 

I was thrilled to come home to 4 lovely boxes filled with Arbonne goodies for my starter kit.

The products are even packaged pretty!

 

 For those of you who aren't familiar with Arbonne, you seriously owe it to yourself to check it out! 

 For years I have been an avid supporter of their products and their promise to deliver pure, safe and beneficial products that uphold their botanical tradition.

 

It wasn't until just recently a family member (an area manager for Arbonne) asked me to take a closer look at the business side of Arbonne. My first thought was that I wouldn't be any good at it, or that I wouldn't have the time to start it up while working a 45+ hours a week job...but the more I looked into this incredible opportunity, the more I realized it was a tangible reality for me.  She gave me this video and it really made me think... why not? Why isn't that lifestyle and opportunity as available to me as it is to them?

 

Then I made My Soldier watch it. And read the pamphlets. And listen to the informational call.

His approval sealed the deal. So here I am!

Kickstarting a new home business, with a crazy work week that requires an hour drive both ways, a puppy who is in desperate need of training and excerise,and these insane migraines that have plagued me for the last 6 months. 

 

And I'm loving it.

 

 I am busting my hiney to get my calendar filled with party dates and new clients to order products.

This isn't a get rich quick scheme by any means, but it is a lifestyle worth the work.

Freedom of time, being my own boss, and being part of an organization that strives to bring beauty to the world inside and out. Not to mention their products are amazing quality.

 

I have the best intentions to spend a little more time around here...

Look for my new Arbonne page..it's in the making!

 

Arbonne.com

 

 

 

AND THE WINNER IS....

Finally...for my end of the month beginning of the month give-away....  The lucky winner is.... #3 Kelly Lynn from You + Me = Wii !!!! Your fabulous prize??? 

 You are eligible for a $20.00 off coupon on any Arbonne purchase!!! AND a free surprise product when you order!Don't wait- hop on over and make your wish list!  ***** Never heard of Arbonne? Click here and discover how this amazing line of health and wellness products can change your life.  Come back tomorrow to find out how Arbonne changed MY life and why this giveaway is the start for my next adventure as an Army Wife!  **** To all those who introduced themselves- it was so nice to meet you! Come back soon for another giveaway in the making!!